


ill considered

by yijeong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Hearing Voices, References to Depression, Self-Harm, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-16 06:26:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17544446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yijeong/pseuds/yijeong
Summary: it's ya boy, uh,,, back withanother vent fici love u jungwoo





	ill considered

**Author's Note:**

> it's ya boy, uh,,, back with  
> another vent fic
> 
> i love u jungwoo

_ just do it. just do it. c’mon, woo. stop being so scared. are you so pathetic you can’t even do this anymore? stop being so useless and do something right for once. c’mon jungwoo, it’s so easy. just fucking do it. you deserv- _

“shut up!”

the words left jungwoo’s mouth loudly as he threw the razor at the wall, pain evident in his voice. he felt his breathing pick up as he clenched his fist, trying to stop the feeling is pure bitterness wash over him as he crawled to retrieve the razor.

jungwoo stared at it in his palm. the razor wasn’t the cliche razorblade stolen from pencil sharpeners or bought in packs he always sees everyone talk about, but instead a cheap, easily disposable 99 cent eyebrow razor he always picked up from the pharmacy. 

they’re easy enough to buy without raising suspicion, claiming he needs them to keep the slit in his eyebrow, insisting he won’t do anything of concern. jungwoo liked how they had a long, skinny handle, and a cover to go over the top so he couldn’t accidentally cut himself every time he hastily shoved them into the pockets of his hoodie.

sitting back against the side of his bed, he slid the plastic cover off and held it in his right hand, pushing back the sleeve of his hoodie on his left arm to expose his hand. after a certain point jungwoo stopped bothering to hide the cuts, leaving a messy disarray of tiny slices all over the top surface of his left hand, letting them heal, and repeating the cycle over again.

he closed his eyes shut tight as the voices squeezed their way into his brain again, getting increasingly louder with every second the blade just hovered above his skin. he doesn’t understand why he always psychs himself out about the pain, knows every time the blade connects with him skin that it’s gone as soon as it was there, knows the stinging sensation is only overwhelming for a brief second before it falls into a dull throb.

the blade slices across tan flash, and jungwoo gets drowned in deafening silence as the voices vanish all at once, and he finds himself alone once more.


End file.
